Holiday table talk

It seems like everyone has suggestions for a holiday table. Some are touted as tried and true family recipes that are guaranteed to make the cook’s skill and equanimity the envy of the occasion. Some are radical experiments in postmodern cuisine, whatever that may be! In my experience tradition usually trumps topicality in the kitchen especially when the stakes are as high as they can be with a holiday family gathering. If you wish to try your sous vide turkey techniques then be my guest, but I suggest you have your invitees sign a release of liability before they sit down.

My most radical modernity is to actually use the oven timer in all its automatic and metronomic glory. My feeling is that the subtle refinements of green bean casserole, chestnut stuffing, sweet potato soufflé, roasted parsnips with carrots and onions among other familiar dishes have not been exploited or perfected to their fullest and that they deserve honored treatment at the sideboard. All of them are well served by variations crafted around their edges with seasonings, spices or herbs. Of course if you have permitted guests to bring their own dishes then you are orchestrating a jazz-inflected occasion at which a certain amount of improvisation will be expected, so dole out these solo turns with strict discretion. You will not need to conduct from the podium but you still are responsible for the harmonious flavor of the whole affair.

One of the least mentioned elements of the occasion is table talk. It would be pleasant to assure that table topics would flow seamlessly from one interesting observation to the next but, this being human company, that is never the case. Still there are a few guiding principles for the head of the table to follow to steer the conversation in amenable ways without being patronizing of the guests’ intellects. Future plans and past travels are generally safe unless they involve war zones in some way. Politics and religion are always combustible topics but reality television programs, especially local ones, are usually non-controversial. This appears to be a guilty pleasure for most people who are not ready to concede interest unless their opinion is invited and then floodgates may open. This also holds true for celebrity news which is merely thinly disguised gossip that is so superficial as to be entirely irrelevant to 99% of the population but which holds an enduring fascination for otherwise intelligent people. Fashion is a fairly neutral topic and it has an appeal to more men these days as they dare to show that they actually are observant and even knowledgeable about such matters, if only by viewing Seen On The Street photographs in the New York Times. The important thing is that the head of the table guide the tone and content of the discussion to thwart any untoward outbreaks of ill-feeling. Refereeing should not be part of the job description but such stains on the event can leave a residue that even professional service cannot clean up unless it is psychiatric.

Happiest hugs,

Celeste