On resolutions

 A lot of people think New Year resolutions are silly. Well, so do I, mostly. Many people are confounded by them, that is, they use them as another chance to hop on the fad band wagon of diets, addiction cures and self-help nostrums and are later disappointed with the final results. Rather than take advantage of a deeply introspective and thoughtful opportunity for improvement, they try the same old things, deferring responsibility for personal behavior. Human nature being what it is, the outcome of these courses is always doubtful. I am proud that I did follow through with my last ‘resolution’ made up at table with Wallace as we waited for service on New Year’s Eve. It was a commitment to say “yes, yes, yes” more often.

This translated for me into attempts to make small but positive efforts to achieve the bright and clear summit rather than to dwell in the valley of gloom, doubt and despair. In actual practice this meant that, when I was confronted by a troubling situation or a discouraging remark, I paused to address the moment in the most positive way I could. If the sales person told me an item was not available in my color, we would negotiate a second choice or arrange a later shipment. If my technology skills failed me, I would take a breath and ask for assistance where I could find it. If the street traffic was thwarting my appointment time, I would calm myself and arrive un-flustered and composed, safe in knowing I had allowed enough time for a normal trip. If the catalogue telephone sales person spoke poor English, I labored patiently to be understood and to have my credit card number correctly processed. All of these small situations involve releasing control over which one’s perceived command is an illusion from the start. In my estimation I did pretty well and perhaps inspired some modest admiration among the mercantile crowd.

The power of ‘yes’ is great and its embrace can lead to wonderful and sometimes unexpected results. In the swirl of holiday parties I accepted an invitation that had small appeal. It was distantly located, midday and involved a golf course home. After I arrived I was re-introduced to one of my dearest college-days friends. Had I said ‘no’ we would not have enjoyed the sentiments of a fond reunion. She is a year older and as a hall proctor had allowed me some lenience with visitors. Dare I say more? Wicked behavior was quite routine, you see. Those were scandalous times, when saying ‘yes’ was a much more predictable option.

Reflecting on that era has helped me focus on a resolution for this year. I plan to eat more chocolate! That is the best part about introspection. It allows for a wide latitude of choices. I could have easily substituted cherry pie.

Many hugs,

         Celeste

Holiday table talk

It seems like everyone has suggestions for a holiday table. Some are touted as tried and true family recipes that are guaranteed to make the cook’s skill and equanimity the envy of the occasion. Some are radical experiments in postmodern cuisine, whatever that may be! In my experience tradition usually trumps topicality in the kitchen especially when the stakes are as high as they can be with a holiday family gathering. If you wish to try your sous vide turkey techniques then be my guest, but I suggest you have your invitees sign a release of liability before they sit down.

My most radical modernity is to actually use the oven timer in all its automatic and metronomic glory. My feeling is that the subtle refinements of green bean casserole, chestnut stuffing, sweet potato soufflé, roasted parsnips with carrots and onions among other familiar dishes have not been exploited or perfected to their fullest and that they deserve honored treatment at the sideboard. All of them are well served by variations crafted around their edges with seasonings, spices or herbs. Of course if you have permitted guests to bring their own dishes then you are orchestrating a jazz-inflected occasion at which a certain amount of improvisation will be expected, so dole out these solo turns with strict discretion. You will not need to conduct from the podium but you still are responsible for the harmonious flavor of the whole affair.

One of the least mentioned elements of the occasion is table talk. It would be pleasant to assure that table topics would flow seamlessly from one interesting observation to the next but, this being human company, that is never the case. Still there are a few guiding principles for the head of the table to follow to steer the conversation in amenable ways without being patronizing of the guests’ intellects. Future plans and past travels are generally safe unless they involve war zones in some way. Politics and religion are always combustible topics but reality television programs, especially local ones, are usually non-controversial. This appears to be a guilty pleasure for most people who are not ready to concede interest unless their opinion is invited and then floodgates may open. This also holds true for celebrity news which is merely thinly disguised gossip that is so superficial as to be entirely irrelevant to 99% of the population but which holds an enduring fascination for otherwise intelligent people. Fashion is a fairly neutral topic and it has an appeal to more men these days as they dare to show that they actually are observant and even knowledgeable about such matters, if only by viewing Seen On The Street photographs in the New York Times. The important thing is that the head of the table guide the tone and content of the discussion to thwart any untoward outbreaks of ill-feeling. Refereeing should not be part of the job description but such stains on the event can leave a residue that even professional service cannot clean up unless it is psychiatric.

Happiest hugs,

Celeste

On Fruitcake.

Let’s talk, Sugar. Here in the Southern empire, sugar is not only a form of address but also a baking ingredient. Everyone knows that. What everyone doesn’t know or appreciate are the variations of the sugar ingredient which are such integral elements in the cuisine here. If the United States average consumption of refined sugar is 65 pounds per person per year then maybe we ought to pay some attention to this. Not only do the food people sneak sugar into our diet but they positively bury us at holidays. To name one confection, what would fruitcake be without sugar? Yes, I know there are sugar substitutes, but that promotion seems like a diversionary tactic in the larger campaign to manipulate our taste buds so that even a conscious foray away from sugar still trains our brain for sweet expectations. It’s as if they know they’ll get you in the end anyway.

Back to fruitcake. If you want to create your own for a holiday you had better plan 10 weeks in advance. I am not kidding around. That beauty has to mellow and macerate. Like any good infusion it requires time for the molecules to meld, migrate and intermingle so that the sophisticated complexity of the flavor is the big payoff and not just the sweetened gumdrop bomb of a boat anchor that many recipes have become. If your recipe doesn’t require ageing, well… forget it. It’s not fruitcake. It might be something else but it’s not fruitcake by any stretch even though the title may call it Grandma’s recipe. Grandma was faking it if this was her style.

As for ingredients, it’s basically butter, flour and sugar with “amendments” as the county extension agent likes to call them. From a 1:1:1 ratio for those ingredients there are all kinds of ups and downs that allow versions to be called “light” or “French” or “Irish” to name a few. Yes, you can add honey, eggs, water, nuts, candied fruit, dried fruit, salt, alcohol, baking soda, fruit juice, spices, flavor extracts and zest to make it a signature rendition but good old sugar is the engine. It’s also true that calories are driving this bus. You can forget the food pyramid when fruitcake is on the menu. Thanks to all that sweetness you can offer yourself up to the primitive revelry of the pleasure center of the brain. Whether you are using refined sugar, confectioner’s sugar, demerara, sucanat, muscovado, jaggery, piloncilo or turbinado is entirely up to you. Each variation has its own chemistry and provides its own proportion of molasses (and other elements of unrefined cane) in allegiance to its native origins.

Whatever you do, don’t think that it can go from oven to table after cooling or even after an overnight in the refrigerator. It has to sit and settle to become what it is supposed to be and to be fairly appreciated. Can you sense a metaphor there: something to do with youth and experience? It is, after all, sweetness of the highest order, Darling!

Many hugs,

Celeste 

A trip to the attic

A trip to the storage attic is an annual ritual around this time of year with us, as with many people, unless one has a basement, which we do not. An inspection tour of my nutcracker collection prompted me to venture up those perilous and rickety steps before the season gets into the swing. Wallace remained nearby at the ready to rescue me should I become entangled in the wobbly balusters or by the protruding utility pipes and wires that lend an altogether forbidding feeling to these forays. Guided by his supportive hands and kindly murmured encouragements I reach for the remote light switch. I am greeted by my pageant of silently patient soldiers waiting for their battle orders in the sultry dark. On first sight I always like to paraphrase Howard Carter’s exclamation on seeing King Tutankhamun’s treasure: “I see wonderful things!”

They are incarnate mementos, not only of how they were delicately placed a year before but also of the travels we have taken and the visits we have made around the world. Remember skating in Central Park? Skiing in Kitzbühel? Rickshaws in Da Nang? Yachting in Antibes? Snorkeling in St. Bart’s? Cool cabs in Mumbai? Trekking in Tibet? Poolside in Peru? Ramen in Sapporo? Sledding in Arkhangelsk? Believe it or not these were all occasions and locations to indulge in new acquisitions, some of which possess excessive charm and character in their mimicry of the old style! None of them ever measure up to the ballet-sized figure of fame (some come close) and none have ever seen a walnut no matter the size!

Any-hoo Wallace, bless his heart, knows that I can’t resist rooting around once I am up there and he helps me bring out most of the holiday ornaments for review. It has to be one of the signature differences between men and women, this distinction in focus. Wallace knows full well that, although our mission was to review the condition and inventory of the nutcrackers, our task would devolve into a much wider opportunity for inspection. In his deference to my wishes I see a brave willingness to submerge his impulse to tackle only one stated task. He is wise enough to have set aside enough time to humor me and to assist me in the fulfillment of my improvised agenda. It has not always been so and the evolution of his patience has served to enrich our marital experience and I daresay happiness. It is not a quality of infinite capacity but it does permit enough latitude in the gratification of my wishes to satisfy me.

This tendency for understanding and serenity in the face of unexpected demands (requests really, lest I be too hard on myself) cannot be foretold, girls. In my experience there is very little in the way of clues as to how a relationship will evolve from its first budding sprouts. If anything one might look to the family relationships from whence your partner comes in order to frame some reasonable prediction of latent tendencies. If we are merely snowflakes then the wind can blow us as it might, but we may still recognize the potential of one over another and the importance of suitability to one’s own makeup. In my observation the qualities of a good partnership have a tendency to evolve in unpredictable ways and the luck of the draw is apparently at work. Who would have thought that this meditation on a psychologically healthy approach to new suggestions and to accommodation would have evolved from the simple task to inventory my nutcrackers with my beloved Wallace?

Kisses all the way,

Celeste 

Holiday Sparkle

It’s holiday time now through January first! What could be a better occasion to show off some of your finest fashions, retro or not? If you are entertaining don’t hesitate to overdress and that means load on the accessories! Whether it bracelets or brooches, pins or rings, necklaces or tiaras that are your favorites give them an airing and let everyone see what you can really do on the style side. Wear them like you mean it! If you have some of your mother’s, sister’s or aunt’s jewelry then celebrate them with it.

It is all the better if the piece has a seasonal flair. Who doesn’t love the extravagance of holidays? If some people want to be grumpy then let them be. Those pumpkin and harvest-themed pins are just the ticket for today. Mine bring out a flattering comment or a smile from my acquaintances and I love sharing the stories behind them if they are family-related items. My onyx black cat pin with its arched back always merits a compliment at this time of year. I like to wear it pinned to an orange scarf for emphasis. There is plenty of time for snowflakes and Santas later on so begin rooting around in that jewelry box to see what accents you might have neglected for a while and start wearing them with your holiday outfits. The enduring value of a nice vintage costume piece can easily rate two camels (that's for enduring value)  if it is chosen with delicate coordination to your outfit and, now that lighting has become so miniaturized, I wouldn’t be shy about the special effects! Wear it like you mean it! Don’t you recall the pins of yesteryear that offered a lighted red nose for Santa or Rudolph if you pulled the short red string? Is it hyperbole to say they were magic? They have a warm and happy place in my memory I can tell you. The more modern versions are full of whiz-bang effects that sparkle and pulse and generally thrill bystanders. However, be careful not to upstage your hostess unless she is of a good-humored nature. In any case I would not recommend firing up the engines during the dinner hour. Let her have her particular moments of glory in the bouquets, candelabras, casseroles and compotes. If your displays are electric, or even electronic, temper them with consideration and reserve them for specific moments when everyone can focus appreciation on you for adding to the festive charm of the occasion. One ought not distract merely for the sake of short-lived attention.

Even if your gear is not animatronic you may feel assured that a precious bibelot will be welcomed in a spirit of celebration and that your selection contributes to the atmosphere of conviviality. Sparkle is never out of place for the holidays if it is presented with the warmth of generosity and an unselfish inclination to share.

Many hugs,

Celeste