Party chatter

Some people can tell a joke at parties. I can't. I suppose that is one reason I am not a professional comedian. My daddy was a sociable funny person in his own reserved way, and he had a kind of country wit that everyone around him appreciated. He had lots of stories, some of them gathered from his legal practice either from his own cases or those of his associates. His stories were about the foibles of human nature at all levels of society, education or wealth. Lawyer stories are usually didactic and are not received as outright comic gems at parties.

Anecdotes are a joke variation which can be funny and are supposedly reality-based. We get an earful of those at many social functions throughout the year. Often the degree of pleasantry is directly proportional to the quantity of alcohol consumed. This humor quotient or ratio is practically a rule of nature. Alcohol as a social lubricant has become essential nowadays to sustain a level of jollity which current world events can easily diminish in a dull moment. Both the listener and speaker are involved in this delicate choreography of distraction. The storyteller is usually relating something that happened to him or that he witnessed, and with a hilarious fillip at the end, sends every nearby listener into paroxysms of explosive laughter. But what do you do when the effort falls flat? If you are carrying a fan you can hide behind it, rustle it vigorously and titter amiably before moving on to the next topic. Sadly, personal fans are not carried often except on certain Asian occasions.

In many cases the suspension of reality during the failed anecdote has been so complete that the shocking return to the present is met with dumb silence and shifting postures. Be prepared. During the recounting of the awful tale, let your mind wander to some clever associative remark, “My brother is just like that!” or “I've never heard of anything quite like it!” or “Where do you come up with these stories?” or “Oh well, what can you do?” Avoid putting the raconteur in an awkward position at all costs as this will only accentuate any discomfort occasioned by the defective effort. Make no reference to over consumption of beverages as this tends to broadly insult the speaker's social capabilities even though it may be an accurate observation. Make no general observations such as “Insurance sales is a racket like that” or “All car mechanics are crooked,” since one of their number in that field may be present. “Have you tried the paté?” is a reliable dodge with the specific plate (cheese board, kale salad or vichysoisse, etc.) substituted where appropriate. Everyone in the circle of hearing will be relieved that someone has taken the lead to extricate the group from awkwardness, no matter that it may seem to be an abrupt segue. I say any life saver is fine in an emergency.

Parties are not meant for introspection. They are meant for convivial sharing and by making allowances for human frailty your part can only be enhanced. If you don't want to participate, find the host's library and open a book, but you and everyone else are best served if you march with good will in this occasional parade as a healthy deflection from ordinary reality.

Many more kisses, Celeste