Love-Hate

            Hyperbole is alive and well. We are in the midst of inflated discourse in the most ordinary exchanges from the political ring to the talk radio echo chamber to ordinary conversation. When I say “I simply love that blouse on you!” or “I adore that shoe, glove and purse combination!”, what I am really saying is that I agree with and admire your sense of style! From my point of view you are doing something right and I am not going to be shy about complimenting you. We all know that this exaggeration is for effect and an expression of exuberance. These enthusiasms deserve to be shared and they can act as much as a tonic for a blue mood as for chronic depression. We ought to be encouraging one another, don't you think? Consider it a figure of speech if it goes a little bit overboard. It's the spirit of the remark that really counts.

            I hope it brightens your day and heightens your confidence to hear, “That color is divine for you and really makes your gorgeous eye color even more attractive!” Most of us have enough self-awareness, especially at a certain age, to know all about our physical faults and defects that don't quite measure up to the highest standards of glamour stardom. This self-imposed critical judgment we may feel keenly or not, depending on our innate sensitivity and tolerance for social (dis)approval. Some people wear their confidence outwardly and appear to be models of self-assurance and may never reveal their own inner insecurity. That doesn't mean a well-aimed compliment isn't welcomed. Often it is desperately needed; to err on the side of hyperbole does no harm and can in fact be very beneficial.

            This lively expressiveness can have a dark side however when we announce displeasure. Bald statements such as “I hate blue” or ”I hate parsnips” leave no allowance for shades of meaning and are potent pronouncements which, as hyperbole, are not so lightly dismissed. For some reason, that word “hate” has insinuated itself into our discussions as commonly acceptable speech. My feeling is that the word ought to be reserved within our inner well of dark matter and be dispensed with some stinginess. Reserve your hate for racism, Nazism and starvation. Save that hyperbole for things that really matter and not just for sports opponents or people with Massachusetts license plates or strip mall developers. The power of this word has infected our discourse to such a degree that it actually stirs up totally misplaced animosity and encourages divisiveness. Hate puts you solidly in one intractable camp with all those who don't agree on the other side. Its casual use has promoted distrust, disbelief and wariness of the “Other” - that person outside your group of association. This cannot be good for civilization when the word “hate” is so generously dispensed. The unintended consequence of it its overuse cannot bode well and gives permission to others to use it freely as well.

            I love my hyperbole and my metaphors sunny side up.

                                                                        Kisses forever,  

                                                                              Celeste 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Celeste

Meditation on Baloney

My Grand-daddy was a gentleman of true Southern tradition and he was not given to profanity but when he was confronted by unsolicited exaggeration or mendacity he would freely employ some fine-tuned and well-aimed exclamation, the meaning and import of which everyone at that time well appreciated. The words he used were common parlance and could be employed at the stable, the barbershop or the living room. There was no need to cover the children’s ears. If ladies were present it was not considered a social disaster or even as bad manners.  If someone expressed a “howler”, he would quickly repudiate it with one of the expressions in his arsenal.

These quaint characterizations are still in parlance though not so common: eyewash, horsefeathers, tommyrot, twaddle, bilgewater, hogwash, poppycock, balderdash and applesauce were all his favorites. The fact that he had so many at the ready perhaps indicates his intrinsic cynicism or it may be a commentary on the general level of discourse. Reading the newspaper today is a classic occasion for these singular outbursts which do nothing to answer the calculus of a well-crafted argument but which offer their user a satisfaction in their explosive discharge. It goes without saying that television reports also offer ample outlet for such steam pressure release.

One can easily look up the derivations of these words and find some exact and some fanciful opinions as to their origins. As for “applesauce” its effect probably stems from its mere ordinariness since it is really a well-loved and universal condiment. On the other hand, “baloney” which was also one of the preferred words in his repertory is a little harder to understand as a pejorative. Is this an anti-immigrant ultra-nationalist word of dismissive power? Is there a hidden message in the use of “baloney”? We know that the meat preparation comes from Bologna in Italy. Was the crushing tide of Italian immigration responsible for the fear and loathing of the people who brought with them this most estimable and portable foodstuff? Was being Italian equated with eating baloney as it was with the Irish eating potatoes, the Scots eating porridge, the Germans eating schnitzel or the French eating frog’s legs? There are worse sins for a people than having a preferred food, like genocide for instance.

Anyhoo, back to baloney. Maybe we can better understand its use from an examination of its ingredients. In Bologna the town there is a traditional sausage called mortadella from which baloney is descended in a transoceanic way. Many of the ingredients are the same (beef or pork) as are some of the spices (black pepper, nutmeg) but the appearance of mortadella has obvious evidence of chunks of pork fat. Here the American government, as a part of its proprietary interest to keep its people safe and healthy, has mandated that the ingredients be ground so fine that nothing discernibly different is recognizable. In this homogenized amalgam of meat, fat and spices there is no way to tell exactly what or where the ingredients come from (what part of the animal that is). The pedigree of the American expression of disapproval “baloney” is thus a pure metaphor for something so apparently free from nutritional value, so common in appearance and so devoid of substance that it must describe the vacuous nature of an observation made by someone who has nothing of consequence to say. And that’s no hooey.

With hugs,     Celeste

Partay!

The urge to be hospitable is emerging again. No one liked that stay at home mandate. Social distancing is bad enough and the word “lockdown” has become an element of everyday conversation. That word has a militaristic connotation implying forceful penalties for violations and was previously applied to prison populations and then to schools/offices horrifically under attack. It is sad that this is where we are.

And yet under that skin of distrust and avoidance flows a richly vibrant pulse. It is driven by the human heartbeat of shared good fellowship and common decency. We want to entertain, have people over again. Not that the viral veil has been lifted, only that we have an irrepressible yearning for community. That’s a good thing. As good things go, I am not including the family weddings in the traditional manner sans masques or the backyard barbeque for the neighborhood sans masques or the rowdy bar scene sans masques. What I refer to are the more intimate parties of 4-6 people.

The practicality of this naturally depends on your living space and table size. We used to joke about the “kiddie table” and now we are sitting there. It has become perfectly acceptable to distribute guests at your home in satellite tables. Not every dining room table (even after the leaves are added from the closet storage) can serve for what are allowable distances between diners. Couples are one close configuration to accommodate, but once you add in any singles, you don’t want to force discomfort or uneasiness on anyone. We don’t want them to feel like outcasts. Separate everyone in that case.

If you don’t have any nice card or game sized tables to use, employ whatever you can and toss an appropriate table cloth over it to disguise its less than elegant appearance, even if it is a shop bench or plywood slab. Add a floral centerpiece (not fragrant of course) and away you go. You may elect to ask everyone to bring their own food and utensils. No one is going to say boo to that these days. If you are preparing the meal, I suggest you opt for a plated presentation rather than a buffet. People tend to clump in such circumstances and we don’t want to hear “back off” muttered in the service line. Ideally you are able to serve outside which adds a lot of ease to the whole affair. If you do have a covered porch that would do splendidly. There is no getting around the fact that indoor contacts are the most hazardous. For apartment dwellers it will be a challenge no matter what approach you take and you will want to explain the ground rules to your guests in advance with as much specificity as possible. The latest science tells us that distancing and masking are the two simplest and most efficient preventatives from infection. Your hospitality does not extend to slacking the rules.

The lavatory should have special accoutrements: sanitizing wipes, soap, throw away hand cloths and disinfectant spray among them. The comfort of your guests and peace of mind for everyone is paramount, in addition to an invitation to return!

On bicycles and automobiles

            I do drive a car now. Since I came to this modern convenience rather lately, my sensibilities are somewhat different than those who have been long behind the wheel. I do love my bicycle though. It is a single speed, wide-tire, wicker basket-equipped contraption with a bright-sounding Bermuda bell on the handlebars which I enjoy ringing gaily for no particular reason but which also serves as a warning signal to anyone in my path. Since I am a participant in these two travel worlds, I think I am qualified to have an opinion on the conduct of operators in each.

            One of the consistently most dangerous maneuvers I often observe is the driver who veers well into the lane of the oncoming traffic with disregard for the propriety of remaining within the lines of their own allotted lane in order to give a bicyclist on his side berm plenty of room. This contrived “courtesy caution” is foolish and needs to be reprimanded. Why don’t you just slow down, Mr. or Mrs. Driver, in order to accommodate the cyclist? It appears that this tactic is another entitlement for those who do not wish to relent on the accelerator pedal. If your concern is the clearance for a cyclist in the bicycle lane, remember that you have an eleven foot travel lane for your six foot wide automobile and that the bicycle lane is usually three feet wide at least. If there is no verge and the white line is a border to the pavement then please slow down and allow the traffic headed toward you to pass before you pass the cyclist.

            This common sense approach honors the understood boundaries allowed for everyone and does not scare the wits out of the approaching driver who has no idea why another vehicle is suddenly oncoming in his or her lane. You centerline-crossers do not understand that the oncoming driver may not even be aware of a cyclist on the opposite side of the road. I urge you to stop this foolish practice before you hurt someone, yourself and passengers included.

            And you bicyclists: “share the road” does not mean hog the road in your pelotons of over-privilege. It applies to you as well. Bicycle lanes are provided as a safety and a courtesy for you. If you insist on riding in packs on travel lanes of 35 mile per hour or faster roads, please get a police escort and a permit for the Tour de Paysage you are apparently riding in. Safety on wheels applies to everyone equally.

            Accommodation and courtesy are extremely important to me but it does not mean that I tolerate dangerous and selfish behavior with service to them as an excuse.

            Ever since Wallace and I honeymooned in Bermuda we have both reveled in the charms of bicycling and I only use my automobile by necessity. We well appreciate that the rights of both users can be honored in a sensible manner if we try.

                                                                                                Big Hugs,                                                                                                                                                       Celeste

On Hold

On hold. Waiting. Idling. Marking time. Hanging on. These words describe the suspended animation of waiting to speak to a “representative”. I have found there are a limited number of doodles that one can create in the duration of this deferred discourse. Dull repetition takes hold after the initial brilliant inventiveness. Spirals are popular, as are daisy petals, clouds, rainbows and curlicues. These softer shapes are not necessarily gender specific. The general term for them is doodles. The impulse to fill empty space, an empty mind or a blank page is probably universal. It is honored by the cliché ‘nature abhors a vacuum’. The refined and trained graphic artists among us may produce more sophisticated renderings of moon rockets, concert halls and corporate logos rather than the more common sketchy comic caricatures. On one hand, it is a marvel to me that the human brain can operate simultaneously on separate complex levels and on the other that we can shut down those higher mental synapses so readily. I see the mind processes as a layered sandwich with or without some of the layers: lettuce, tomato, bacon, mayo or mustard for instance. Salt and black pepper and pickle are optional. This metaphor can grow to imaginative complexity. The point is that the idle mind is not truly inert at all and that is where doodles (from the German Dudeltopf ) come in. They occupy the day dreaming space, the marginalia of the focused mind.

Since we have been coping with the extenuating circumstances of this viral epidemic, there is lots of hanging on, especially when we are on the phone. We are making appointments, getting information, filing complaints and generally dealing with officialdom. It is here that we run up against some of the most dreadful sounds ever transmitted. The phone tree complications are bad enough: “Our menu has recently changed.” The subsequent musical diversion intended as a soothing passage is so scratchy and disjointed that it is practically unbearable. I inform the next representative that it is a trial to endure that sonic experience, saying, “Your interlude music is about the worst I have ever heard and almost deters me from waiting, let alone to doing business with you!” That horrible and repetitive noise is a maddening distraction when I could be accomplishing some useful and creative doodling. Since that signal is probably bouncing off a communications satellite 20,000 miles above Earth before it arrives in my ear, there is some allowance to be made, but REALLY! I don’t care if it is a clarinet concerto. It is unrecognizable noise and repellant. Something about the sound waves is so disturbingly distorted that when the cheery representative finally comes on the line and distinctly wishes me a bright welcome, it is disorienting and annoying at the same time. Of course the representative can do nothing to remedy my irritation except to say, “Yes we have heard that before.’ I would prefer silence with the occasional “We will be right with you” rather than the aural assault of abrasive din. Thank you for allowing me to vent. I don’t think I am alone in this and I know that this is small potatoes of all the things to be upset about. Much bigger issues well deserve the biggest protests right now.

Hanging on is the default mode of operation right now. Waiting for a resolution of uncertainty is foremost for everyone. The halting progress, if you can call it that, is frustrating in the extreme. The rollercoaster ride of optimism and despair has brought me to tears more than once. There is civic danger in that beyond a personal hazard. Mental health consultation however, is not my specialty; table settings and candelabras and napkin folding and floral arrangement is more of my territory.

When I say civic danger, I mean it. The national mood may bottom at such a low ebb that we settle for some swaggering tinpot authoritarian who promises a guaranteed solution to our problems, who operates without counsel, who confabulates his own worth as a leader of the people, who flatters our national pride with jingoistic drum-banging, who sells shallow nostrums for complex problems, who has no personal guiding principles unless they are polling well with the voters and who has no understanding of the meaning of Civics. Pretty scary if you ask me. We are vulnerable to this sort of manipulation if we allow it, especially if the situation gets worse than it already is. To my thinking the national ‘mood’ is critical. Fear and apprehension are not solid voting guides. Thank you for allowing me to vent again.

What has this to do with gracious living? Look to standards of action to answer that. High standards are not exclusively for the elite. A table with a camellia in a jelly jar can be just as satisfactory as any floral extravaganza. A votive candle can offer as much accent as any designer taper. Standards of performance and presentation cross all boundaries; practicing discernment in that sphere offers the opportunity for a genial life. In our own domain we set criteria all the time. Applying that to the larger society is not a bad thing.

On hold is nowhere. It is not here or there. It is limbo. (Never mind that that word is a construct for the purpose of religious rationale.) It is the province of daydreams and doodles and uncertainty waiting to be connected. In olden days when telephone lines ran through switchboards with actual people supervising them, to be ‘on hold’ meant that the physical connections were not yet made and you might be asked to ‘hold on’ in anticipation of an actual plugged connection. Being on hold now encompasses a sort of universal insecurity. Those standards I spoke of can now aid us in mutual support. We encourage and offer compassion to others as an emblem of solidarity. Or we bake them a pie. Or we share from our garden. That is the acme of gracious living.

Swell kisses                           Celeste