Parlous Times

           These are parlous times. What does that mean? One might gather from the apparent root of the word parlous that it derives from the French parler but according to etymology scholars that would be a mistake. Parler is said to derive from parabola or parabola when one refers to speech but parlous truly means perilous or dangerous and has its own separate line of ancestry.

          So these are dangerous times no matter how you slice it. Sanitation is of the utmost importance and more than a little worrisome for those who are vulnerable and those who love them. Thank goodness pets are not afflicted. I shudder to think what the consequence might be if they were.

Anyhoo, the recipe for good sanitation is as old as Moses. Really. I don’t cite the Bible very often but it is authoritative about the proper way to maintain healthy conditions both in and out of the kitchen. Moses, the first public health sanitarian, delivered more than moral guidance for human conduct. Hygiene in spirit was meant to accompany hygiene in practical quotidian duties. One notes that this could get a little severe when men, women and child prisoners were summarily executed to prevent the spread of disease, though virgins were spared in a pragmatic demonstration of moderation.

           The good old books of Leviticus and Deuteronomy lay out a pretty comprehensive list of allowable animal food on the basis of cleanliness as well as the procedures for preparation and storage in order to ensure healthy living. That’s basic sanitation but there were also prescriptions for waste management and water protection which makes a pretty good case for public health as a priority. Coming out of the desert there needed to be some guiding principles for what might otherwise have turned into an unruly and unclean mob. Timing is everything.

           In response to the arrival of the medieval plague in Italy, the state mandated quarantine, a forty day sequestration. Today we have a pretty good idea how to cope with a pandemic without the pandemonium, but people are people and so the inevitable strays will require convincing if not corralling. Luckily we have extremely wide and instant communication so that, if we are able to filter out the misleading and patently false junky bits, we’ll be okay at the other end of this episode.

Every Irish household knows that shoes on a table bring bad luck. Isn’t this a sensible extension of the Biblical health laws? That means when you bring home your grocery bag whose bottom has rested on the floor in the supermarket you ought to remember not to place it on any food preparation surface. That would be tantamount to walking on the counter! That’s simple common sense and just one example of preventive hygiene, praise Moses!

           Stay healthy. Stay aware. Stay in attendance of the ones you love.

                    With hugs,

                                        Celeste

Just smell that!

Newly mown hay. Balsam Fir needles. Lilacs. Ocean air. Eucalyptus groves. These are some of the aromas you may love. Who doesn’t? After all they are freely available, although the decline in agriculture has deprived many people of the sweet scent of timothy grass hay. There are lots of naturally occurring smells which evoke positive responses. It is a very long list. It gives credence to the effectiveness of aromatherapy, the application of aromas to enhance or even induce a mood.

Then there are the cooking smells. They are in a class by themselves as conduits to rich memory experiences. There are the holiday sub-types such as roasting turkey, sand tarts and schmaltz. I’ll let you read about the latter on your own time if you need familiarization. That’s also where you will meet the fascinating world of gribenes. Then too there are the more ordinary aromas often associated with home baking. Grandmother used to set aside a singular day of the week to do all her baking. Her house and its environs were enveloped for the duration in the most deliciously attractive essence. As a result, baking bread of any flavor is a sure trigger for me. The point is that the power of certain cooking aromas has the potential to transport your imagination instantly to a place and time of distant reckoning where you were imprinted by a complete experience.

It is amusing and a little sad to see the attempts to commercialize this all too human association. What self-respecting candle store doesn’t carry some permutation of cinnamon fragrance? Every realtor knows that apple pie and cinnamon are attractants to nesting home buyers. Most open house showings include some element of aroma manipulation, calculated to soften up the prospects if not to mask some unpleasantness. Speaking of which, the lengths to which one can go to mask offensive smells has been taken to silly extremes. It is reminiscent of the preciosité of the seventeenth century French aristocracy who fairly fainted at the hint of a scent of anything untoward, not to mention the stench of the streets which were ripe enough. There is a town in Illinois, I think, where certain chewing gum flavors inescapably scent the air as a part of the manufacturing process. This may be preferable to living down-wind of a paper mill and it is no doubt taken in the same stride by the citizens as a fact of life.

The acceptance of this artificiality is a testament to olfactory tolerance.

The crowning extremes of this pre-occupation with aroma are the dizzying array of candles and electrified room fresheners which attempt to particularize the atmosphere with an ambient fragrance which someone somewhere somehow has determined to be essentially pleasant and positive. Are we becoming a culture of aroma addicts who require all sensory experiences to carry the generic heft of clothes dryer sheets? An occasional lavender sachet or a bar of scented soap is about all I require. That kind of refreshment is a wonderful complement to those beautifully folded linens and intimates that you so enjoy. It’s nice to evoke a feeling of calm and order with a subtle fragrance from time to time and to experience a peaceful harmony.

Still,

Celeste

Love-Hate

        Hyperbole is alive and well. We are in the midst of inflated discourse in the most ordinary exchanges from the political ring to the talk radio echo chamber to ordinary conversation. When I say “I simply love that blouse on you!” or “I adore that shoe, glove and purse combination!”, what I am really saying is that I agree with and admire your sense of style! From my point of view you are doing something right and I am not going to be shy about complimenting you. We all know that this exaggeration is for effect and an expression of exuberance. These enthusiasms deserve to be shared and they can act as much as a tonic for a blue mood as for chronic depression. We ought to be encouraging one another, don't you think? Consider it a figure of speech if it goes a little bit overboard. It's the spirit of the remark that really counts.

       I hope it brightens your day and heightens your confidence to hear, “That color is divine for you and really makes your gorgeous eye color even more attractive!” Most of us have enough self-awareness, especially at a certain age, to know all about our physical faults and defects that don't quite measure up to the highest standards of glamour stardom. This self-imposed critical judgment we may feel keenly or not, depending on our innate sensitivity and tolerance for social (dis)approval. Some people wear their confidence outwardly and appear to be models of self-assurance and may never reveal their own inner insecurity. That doesn't mean a well-aimed compliment isn't welcomed. Often it is desperately needed; to err on the side of hyperbole does no harm and can in fact be very beneficial.

      This lively expressiveness can have a dark side however when we announce displeasure. Bald statements such as “I hate blue” or ”I hate parsnips” leave no allowance for shades of meaning and are potent pronouncements which, as hyperbole, are not so lightly dismissed. For some reason, that word “hate” has insinuated itself into our discussions as commonly acceptable speech. My feeling is that the word ought to be reserved within our inner well of dark matter and be dispensed with some stinginess. Reserve your hate for racism, Nazism and starvation. Save that hyperbole for things that really matter and not just for sports opponents or people with Massachusetts license plates or strip mall developers. The power of this word has infected our discourse to such a degree that it actually stirs up totally misplaced animosity and encourages divisiveness. Hate puts you solidly in one intractable camp with all those who don't agree on the other side. Its casual use has promoted distrust, disbelief and wariness of the “Other” - that person outside your group of association. This cannot be good for civilization when the word “hate” is so generously dispensed. The unintended consequence of it its overuse cannot bode well and gives permission to others to use it freely as well.

       I love my hyperbole and my metaphors sunny side up.

Kisses forever, Celeste

Baseball Lingo

Baseball is such a charming game. Some people think it is the best thing going and packed with action, strategy and surprise achievements. Well, maybe. I have to choose my words carefully because there are overzealous fanatics who will not brook any criticism. Also, patriotism has a way of creeping into any discussion of the topic. On the other hand, to its credit it has evolved to modern standards of entertainment and has a treasured place in summertime activity.

Americans in general are perplexed by foreign sporting tradition and I mention the game of cricket as an example. The rules are one thing but the lingo creates another impenetrable barrier to appreciation of the sport. For those who are not familiar with baseball and are continually perplexed by its so called virtues, I have compiled a short list of terms that may help demystify some of the accounts given by savvy broadcasters.

Celeste’s Clip ‘n’ Save Guide to Baseball Lingo

Can of corn – an easily caught fly ball to the outfield.

Catbird seat – a position of unarguable advantage. Not just physical, as in the press box.

Dinger – a home run. Round all the bases and score.

Fan him – strike him out. It takes three by the way.

Full count – three balls and two strikes against a batter. A foul ball then doesn’t count.

Gas inside – a fast pitch close to the hitter. A brush back is a dangerously close one.

Go with the heat (or gas) – serve up a very fast pitch. 100 mph is not unheard of.

Johnson – a home run. I have no idea who Johnson is or was.

Off speed – a slower pitch. 70 mph is considered lethargic!

On the corners – simultaneously a runner at first base and a runner at third base.

One (two or three) aboard – number of base runners.

Paint the corners – pitches delivered close to the corners of the rectangular strike zone.

Punch out – a strike out.

Put mustard on it – a throw or a hit with energy and vigor.

Swing for the fences – muscular and aggressive batting.

Walk off home run – a game winning home run for the home team in the last inning.

Huge hugs, Celeste

A public service announcement

Have an escape plan, Celeste’s tips on emergency preparedness:

Put together a small kit for travel and be sure it includes all the cosmetics you might not be able to find “on the road”. If you use certain serums, like many of us do, it is unlikely you will be able to pop into a corner store to replenish. It is very important for your morale in the face of danger to present a planned appearance. Also it will put your fellow travelers (I hesitate to use the word evacuees, which sounds almost biological) at ease in any unexpected interactions. Don’t forget that an extra set of your best brushes will be needed.

Access to your own special hair products are extremely useful to have. Nothing could be more shocking than to go for a day and possibly more, without firm holding spray. Special tip: in an extremis survival situation I am told that they are flammable and can be used to ward off wild animals.

Set aside a proper wardrobe. No need to pack it, just set it aside in a section of your walk-in. Since you won’t know what time of day the disaster may strike, include practical selections from your daily routine. In this set aside area you may still continue to use them only be sure to replace them cleaned in the set aside when you dip into them. Don’t feel you have to alter your habiliments, except maybe to add a head covering that you might ordinarily use just for gardening or the beach. As the seasons change so should your set aside too!

Practical footwear is a must so include any casual wear you ordinarily use. For my use I have a very nice carry bag with a pair of flats, boardwalks, mules and zip boots. It is a comfort to know that they are there any time I need them. Select your own types but avoid wedges no matter how comfy they might feel. Toss in some footies too!

It goes without saying that essential medicine is a requirement. You might also add in the kit any over the counter relief aids that you usually take. My dear partner has an extensive list of such things and I make him segregate these on one side of his medicine cabinet where I placed a small plastic bag. When the time comes we could just scoop them all in one motion into the bag and be on our merry way. Et Voila!

Small food items, such as energy bars, and water deserve to be in the kit. It wouldn’t be a bad thing to include some Richart chocolate from Paris or even some dark Scharffen Berger as mood enhancers under the circumstances. They come in nice little squares.

Lastly, don’t ignore a set aside of delicates and handkerchiefs. A small flask of strained and decanted sherry wouldn’t be a bad thing either.

Hugs all around,

Celeste

Three cheers for cooks!

      Cooking is not chef-ing, although it seems that chefs are everywhere. Chefs run kitchens, create signature dishes, host television programs, sign their cookbooks and generally live the life of the adulated few. Cooks, on the other hand, may or may not aspire to that high wire upon which a chef balances, where a lapse may be career-ending and not just an unsuccessful stutter. It is true that all chefs were cooks at one time, laboring for long hours in the hot sweaty line of pressured production for little money and no recognition. A chef's life isn't for everyone and not everyone aspires to it, although some cooks may admire the apparent rewards lavished on the most successful chefs. This doesn't deny that chefs have attendant headaches behind all the glamor and they might say “Oy, you have no idea” to that. But today's American food culture places an extraordinary value on the accomplishments of chefs and by doing so hints that the contribution of the cook is of lesser value. How wrong-headed is that? Many cooks have undergone extensive and exquisite training in particular specialties, and have served ably with loyalty and distinction on the battle line in the kitchen. They have been responsible for the presentation of countless tables of richness and worth that have pleased customers of the most, and of the least, discriminating taste. These are the professional cooks of whom I speak, whether their work tables are barbeque or blue ribbon.

     Then there are the dedicated and superior amateurs who not only serve their families on a daily basis but also their friends and guests in an unselfish effort to entertain, amuse and beguile in addition to satisfying them. To be good at that requires dedication among other qualities including creativity if not artistry, technical skill, improvisational deftness, concentrated organization and, not least of all, a caring nature. For someone to cook a meal with the particular desires and preferences of the recipient in mind is a process that involves time and effort both in and outside the kitchen. The menu planning, the ingredient gathering and the recipe selections are not a small part of this performance and can require as much attention to detail as time spent in the kitchen. To do this with excellence on a daily basis is an exhibition of remarkable love and caring, no doubt about it. You may know what I mean. To create these little essential artworks of tribute regularly is a sign of great devotion. It doesn't matter whether the dish is potage or pheasant, as any cook will tell you. Cooks undertake these tasks willingly with the hopeful attitude of aiming to please. Just the accommodation for varied dietary preferences, let alone requirements, at a single table can be daunting. There is nothing easy or simple about it and a lack of appreciation for this can sting terribly. Praise is not expected at forkful but an acknowledgment of the effort that goes into the entire presentation is always gratefully received in my experience. The simplest sincere expression by a guest or a family member can make all the difference to the cook's assessment of achievement.

     To those cooks who identify with this description, I say thank you and can only say that I trust that your loving care does not go unnoticed, nor should it ever.

   Biggest Smooches, Celeste

Family guests - it can happen anytime!

          Guests are one thing but family guests are another. They require special consideration and rules mainly due to the delicacy of the familial bonds that dare not be broken, except in cases of distant incarceration, in which instance the best policy would be to send holiday cards only without any personal notes, thereby maintaining the thinnest connectivity. When there is a disturbance in the family fabric it has a tendency to propel vibrations far and wide and to engender tremors in faraway and unexpected places. One of the consequences of which is that the original actors in the drama are misunderstood, misquoted and generally maligned by persons who hardly know them and can’t be bothered to find out the facts. In order to preserve the status quo of cherished family values and character, some precepts ought to be observed by the host and hostess when sheltering family:

         1. Never loan them money as a house guest. Its corollary: never ask for repayment by a guest, lest it be misunderstood as “rent”. 2. Do not encourage the family guest to give up a cherished vice, such as drinking, smoking or gambling while in your home as this is likely to exacerbate violent mood swings. 3. Limit sharp objects around the house, especially within easy reach on kitchen counters. 4. If a family guest makes an inane and offensive remark at table such as, “Not all slave owners were really bad people,” ask them to help in the kitchen with some menial task in order to defuse any ill-will, especially if it happens to be Martin Luther King Day. 5. Placate dietary requirements as best you can but do not be vexed by unanticipated and unexpressed needs. Meet them with casual nonchalance such as, “I don’t believe you mentioned that to me” or “Help me find a substitute in your food pyramid.” 6. Provide ample brochures for local activity in rooms and meet requests for things to do with a slightly bewildered deflection to them. 7. Plainly express your day’s plan ahead of time and let the family guests work around your schedule. Leave explanatory notes with diagrams on the kitchen counter when you must be away. 8. Inform the family that your pet has a delicate nature and that territorial displays are to be expected, the consequences for which you will not be responsible, no matter the provocation. Stock in stain remover. 9. The second phrase after welcome must be, “Remind me how long you said you will be with us?” A direct declaration is important for clarity. Much sorrow and ill-will has arisen from over-staying, Benjamin Franklin’s quotation notwithstanding. Remind your guest how thin your walls are. Blame the builder. 10. Your goal is to make it all look easy. Even those who exploit your kindness with unexpressed appreciation can sense the effort you have made. Somewhere in the deepest recesses of self the rewards of kinship will be felt. Offer to reciprocate with a visit of your own in the near future.

Kisses,

Celeste